KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS
A Sunday School
teacher decided to have her young class memorize
one of the most quoted passages in the Bible --
Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month
to learn the verse. Little Bobby was
excited about the task, but he just couldn't
remember the Psalm. After much practice, he
could barely get past the first line. On
the day that the kids were scheduled to recite
Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Bobby was
so nervous. When it was his turn, he
stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my shepherd . . . and that's
all I need to know!"
When a mother saw
a thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, she
worried about her seven-year-old daughter who
would be walking the three blocks from school to
home. Deciding to meet her, the mother saw
her daughter walking nonchalantly along, stopping
to smile whenever lightning flashed. Seeing
her mother, the little girl ran to her,
explaining happily, "All the way home, God's
been taking my picture!"
A mother took her
three-year-old daughter to church for the first
time. The church lights were lowered, and
then the choir came down the aisle, carrying
lighted candles. All was quiet until the
little one started to sing in a loud voice,
"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to
A little boy
walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a
matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on
the sand. He walked up to her and asked,
"Are you a Christian?" "Yes."
"Do you read your Bible every day?" She
nodded her head, "Yes." "Do
you pray often?" the boy asked next, and
again she answered, "Yes." With
that he asked his final question. "Will
you hold my quarter while I go swimming?"
One day a space
shuttle crashed to the ground in the yard of a
preschool. When he finally struggled out of
the wreckage, the astronaut shouted, "I'm
free! I'm free!!!" At this
point, one of the little children standing there
shouted back, "Big deal, I'm four!"
A Sunday School
teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here
know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied: "Aren't those
the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"
A bright 8-year-old
child was being tested by the Speech Teacher and
was given analogies and asked to describe the
Speech Teacher: "What's the difference
between an oak tree and a Christmas tree?"
Child: "One has leaves and the other
Teacher: "Very good! What's the
difference between a saucer and a plate?"
Child: "One flies and the other
A father was
reading Bible stories to his young son. He
read, "The man named Lot was warned to take
his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were
sitting together in church. Joel giggled,
sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big
sister had enough. "You're not
supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?"
Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of
the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."
wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride
dressed in white?" "Because white
is the color of happiness and today is the
happiest day of her life," her mother tried
to explain, keeping it simple. The child
thought about this for a moment, then said,
"So, why's the groom wearing black?"
On the first day
of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If
anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two
fingers." A little voice from the back
of the room asked, "How will that help?"
put his shoes on by himself. His mother
noticed the left was on the right foot. She
said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said,
"Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my
boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his
mother, "There were two boy kittens and two
girl kittens." "How did you know?"
his mother asked. "Daddy picked them
up and looked underneath," he replied.
"I think it's printed on the bottom."
GOD'S LITTLE ACRE
Copyright (c) Rusti 2002, 2003
All Rights Reserved