USA - Eastern Time

Welcome to the Just for Laughs Funnies Garden at God's Little Acre.

LIFE IS BETTER WHEN YOU'RE LAUGHING!!! 

In God's Love, Peace and Grace,
Rusti

Menu of Funnies 

01.  Noah in the 21st Century - And we thought we had problems! If Noah had lived in the United States in the last ten years, the story may have gone something like this...

02.  The Bathroom Commode - The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language...

03.  The Bridge - A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish...

04.  Afraid of the Dark - A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom...

05.  The Stranger in My House - A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in...

06.  Kids Say the Funniest Things - A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible -- Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse...

07.  Kids Say the Funniest Things 2 - How do you decide who to marry?...

08.  Kids Say the Funniest Things 3 - How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?...

09.  Moses - George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long white beard and flowing white hair...

10.  Mischievous Brothers - Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it...

11.  The Greatest "Typo" of All Time - A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand...

12.  Ill-Fitting Boots - There was a teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on...

13.  The Organist - The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, at the end of the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building...

14.  Can-Do - Programmer to Team Leader: "We can't do this proposed project. **CANNOT** It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system...

15.  Letter from Grandma - Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes: The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker...

16.  Practicality vs. Religion - During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!!!"...

17.  Stress Diet - This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day...

18.  Lost Man - A man had been lost and walking in the desert for about five days. One hot day, he comes to the home of a preacher...

19.  Write it Down! - An 80-year-old couple was worried because they kept forgetting things all the time...

20.  Rich Man - There was once a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven...

21.  Domestic Bliss - One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard...

22.  Rules for Dieting - If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories...

23.  Short Christian Jokes 1 - A man is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out, but it was really stuck in there well...

24.  Short Christian Jokes 2 - An elderly lady was well known for her faith and for her boldness and talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, "Praise the Lord!"...

25.  Fun With Oxymorons - Act naturally - Resident alien - Genuine imitation...

26.  Mothers of the Famous - Columbus' Mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Chris. You still could have written."...

27.  A Little Mixed Up - Just a line to say I'm living, that I'm not among the dead. Though I'm getting more forgetful, and mixed up in the head...

28.  A Short Quiz - The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional." According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers...

29.  Old West Justice - A man in the Old West was being tried for stealing a horse. You need to remember that stealing a horse in the Old West was a very grave and serious offense...

30.  A Letter Home - I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then...

31.  A Question of Ownership - Some years ago a New Orleans lawyer sought a direct Veterans Adminiistration loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be approved if he could provide proof of clear title to the property offered as collateral...

32.  Peach Brandy - A Baptist preacher went to see a member of the community and invited him to come to Church on Sunday morning...

33.  Don't Mess With Mom - My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough to put me in my place...

34.  Pastor Norton - The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and, realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf...

35.  Optimist v. Pessimist - A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold...

36.  Desperate Measures - Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts...

37.  When I Got to Heaven - I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door. Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor...

38.  Practicing What You Preach??? - An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him...

39.  The Computer Swallowed Grandma - The computer swallowed grandma, yes, honestly its true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' and disappeared from view...

40.  Want to Feel Smart? - Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?...

41.  Three Beers - An Irishman moved into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walked into the local pub, and promptly ordered three beers...

42.  21st Century Teachers - After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said......

43.  25 Lines to Make You Smile - 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't...

44.  Everybody Knows Bubba - Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."...

45.  Coming Soon!

BE THE REASON SOMEONE SMILES TODAY!